In the Mind of Mizah K.

Hey guys!
I know, I know... I abandoned Blogger for waaay too long. Once again I am really sorry. I was supposed to post a blog in August but it never made it on here. I was really busy this past semester. I'm not even in Malaysia now, I'm back in Jordan for the semester holiday. I'll be returning to Malaysia in late November where I will start a new semester in the International Islamic University of Malaysia, Gombak Campus, yess, that means I passed all my exams and I'm done with foundation studies!! :) Feels like just yesterday I was introducing CFS IIUM Nilai to you...and now I'm leaving it!

A lot happened in my last semester...drama from beginning to end! From moving to the boys hostel [B2-1-3!] to roommate problems. Just a quick flashback to one of my old postings, remember 'L', The dude who used to stare a lot at me and my friends?? There's actually some news on him. I have so many mutual friends with him, so naturally I know a lot about him already and I even talked to him like 3 times already. It was at the EconsFest [major hint right there] and he was serving drinks so I took the opportunity and went up to him and asked for a drink and he knew exactly what we were up to so he went along with it. He had this cheeky smile the whole time. He even included us in his jokes while he was talking to other people and then he said 'come again tomorrow!'...which we did of course! hahahaha.. so now, it's not that weird with him, I really wanted to ask about the staring, but it wasn't the right time. Oh well... at least I got the chance to talk to him right?...coz it's been like 3 semesters of staring!..and he's going to Gombak too! =p

Okaay, so I said I wanted to give a final review of CFS Nilai right? I've decided to not do so because my overall review is not a good one. I do have some love for CFS Nilai, ergo I think my review would give a really bad impression and might ward off a lot of potential students. On a positive note, through all the flaws CFS has, I have suffered and endured a great deal and that has made me become more mature and independent. It has also helped me in always preparing for the worst. So students, even if the management of your university suck, the only good side of it is that it will help groom you better in facing even more future problems. I admit, it was tough, there were times when I wished I was doing A Levels instead of foundation, like that one time when my timetable was perfectly okay. But the problem was that a lot of people who didn't take short semester, their names were not listed in any of the classes...so they had to RESHUFFLE everything.. and it messed up my timetable and I had to re-do everything coz there were clashes and I had to re-do the online registration again. God really tested my patience that day. So many more of those flaws...but I'll do the uni a favour and keep it to myself.

I think in that one year of my being in CFS Nilai, I have learnt far more than in any year of my life. By that, I don't mean education...but experience. Indeed, experience is vital. I know the meaning of true friendship...as well as the bad kind. A bad friend is a person who brings out the worst in you. From now on, I will only surround myself with people who have a positive impact on me.

All in all, I made it through. I'm just happy to be out of Nilai. It's foundation, so it's okay if it sucks... Gombak is the real deal. So I expect it to be of higher standards, better management...it is a university after all. It better be good, I mean, it's international...they want to make Malaysia look good right? There better be no double standards... 

As of now, I can put Nilai behind me, closing that chapter and opening a new one...



I am anxious, excited and ready for IIUM Gombak Main Campus. This is when university life really begins...

-Mizah K.-

p/s
More new posts coming soon! ;)

Hello everyone!

Did yaaaa miss me? =P Well this semester is going by pretty fast. It’s been about 5 weeks already... [but why do I still feel like I’ve learnt nothing?]... and soooo much has happened, though some of it is too personal to share on here. I do have a few good things to say about the new intake though [a.k.a. the ‘91’s]. I’m sure everyone has noticed how BiG they are in size. They’re sooo tall...my first impression was ‘they certainly got enough calcium while growing up, compared to the 1990 babies.’ I’m not kidding when I say tall...I mean...these juniors are towering over us seniors...and some are also very mature looking. I saw this one kid who looked like he could be married and a father of 2! But best of all, I have not yet seen a SINGLE SOFTY!! Wooooot! Go ‘91s!!

Now let’s get down with business. I don’t know if blogging is the right way to do this, but the inspiration is lingering above me so I might as well act while it’s still present. I have no idea what I will achieve by blogging about this either, but I guess your opinion would reaaaally help. Mind you, this is gonna be one loooong posting, so bear with me.

The most complicated question I have ever been asked was...no...not a math problem [though that would definitely top the list!!]it was asked by a best friend of mine and she’s a non-Muslim. I was 16... [not that long ago, really] and we were discussing religion. Her mom is a Christian-Jehovah, but she’s still unsure of what to believe in, she doesn’t believe in God but she does believe in a Higher Power. She asked me, ‘Mizah, you’re a Muslim right?’...and I replied, ‘Yeaaaah...’ Her next question caught me off guard..."So, since you’re a Muslim, you believe that non-Muslims aren’t going to heaven right? So do you believe that I’m going to hell?”

*silence...*

I was not ready for that question. I mean what the hell do you reply to that? What kind of best friend would tell her best friend ‘Yes, you are going to hell?’ Wouldn’t that make our whole friendship some sort of big lie? I was so speechless... I was quiet for a whole minute. Then a mixture of emotions...from sadness to confusion to shock to guilt all came to me at once.

And you know what? This actually isn’t the first time I’ve been asked this question. The first time was actually by my French teacher and she asked it in front of the class. My feelings were really hurt when she said ‘Muslims believe that we [non-Muslims] are going to hell. Isn’t that right, Mizah?’ I was offended because they were all such good people, and for them to think that I think that they’re going to hell...is just...well....hurtful...especially when I don’t really believe that. I was very close to tears at that time...bad day that was.

Tell me, what would you have done in that given situation? We have to respect their beliefs, otherwise they wouldn’t respect ours... can you imagine what kind of world it would be if we didn’t respect each other? There’d be no cooperation...none at all.

You see, there are these boundaries...of religion/truth as well as social protocol of respecting other people’s religion...tolerance and all that. Whenever these 2 things collide, that’s when I don’t know how to act. Am I supposed to be diplomatic about it and apply social etiquette and not be rude? Or tell them the truth? And this truth hella hurts. What is the universal protocol for that? I want to know. I know that I’d be maaad pissed if my best friend believed I’m going to hell just coz I’m not a believer of her religion. Being empathetic and putting myself in my best friend’s shoes really does not help.

See how complicated this is? It bothers me...it’s been bothering me for ages. I worry about my non-Muslim friends, coz they’re such lovely people. Sure, they drink and do a lot of prohibited stuff, but at the end of the day, they’re still good and kind-hearted to me. I appreciate all that they’ve done for me.

A friend of mine once said ‘Mizah, I think that as long as you do good, then you have a shot at heaven.’...and well...she has a point. That is where I’m confused. Just coz they’re not Muslim, doesn’t mean all their good deeds will be ignored right? After all, it’s much harder for them as well...they weren’t born Muslim. If I weren’t born Muslim, I’d probably be reluctant to convert especially if my upbringing has been surrounded with another religion. Again, being empathetic is really not helping!!!

And going around converting people isn’t exactly easy. All I’ve ever managed to do was just tell my friends why I do this...that...why I fast...invited them over for Eid ...and they understand and respect it, and they think Islam is good. But that’s as much as I can do...if I were to go any further, well let’s just say no one likes an over-converter [someone who does nothing but talks about their own religion to convert others]. I mean, it’s off-putting right? I don’t want to come off as an extremist either! Even I don’t like it when say a Christian is tryna convert me and all they ever talk about is Christianity, heck, I’d slap ‘em in the face to shut ‘em up. It’s just an annoying approach. Sure, occasionally I share a bit about Islam, but I don’t think it’ll ever be enough to convince them, coz it’s just not that easy. Yes, I need to learn how to da’wah properly. Hopefully IIUM will teach me that, and yes I know that I still have a lot to learn about Islam.

I’m a Muslim. We do believe that non-believers go to Hell. I know Islam is the true religion, but at the same time, having been brought up in an international community, where others respect my religion and my beliefs, it is only natural that I respect their beliefs. So is common courtesy still relevant in this case? Imagine if I didn’t respect them, it’d be havoc and chaos all around!!! Look at Malaysia....respecting other religions coz we’re a multi-racial country, yet we Muslims know Islam is the truth... it’s contradicting in a way right? I feel that we are only ‘respecting’ to keep the peace. Don’t you think so?

I admit and I am really sorry to say that I have been sceptic about my own religion...there are just sooo many questions that needs answering, yet I feel that some questions aren’t allowed to be asked. I have been strictly told that there are just some things which we must never ask about and just have faith in it. It’s perfectly fine to wonder about these things though right? Why else would we bother searching for the truth?

The other day, this educated person was telling us about deeds. She said that there are 3 conditions, you have to do the deed for the benefit of others, it has to be sincere and you have to be Muslim. She gave an example of a non-Muslim who donated money to the mosque... it is for the benefit of others, it is sincere, but God will reject his deed coz he isn’t a Muslim. I was actually really pissed coz I believe that Allah would still accept it, as long as the person has good intentions, why not accept it? Allah after all is most compassionate...most merciful... I now question that ‘educated’ person’s credibility and qualifications. I asked a friend of mine about this, and she asked her lecturer. Her lecturer said that if the person has been exposed to Islam and knows about it, yet still rejects it, then they’ll still go to hell. It still seems a bit unfair to me coz it’s so much harder to accept something as the truth, especially if they weren’t brought up with it.

I believe in Islam, yet I respect other people’s religion (though I don’t believe in ‘em). I do know that non-believers of Islam are going to hell, yet, I believe that Allah is fair and that even if they aren’t Muslim, their deeds will still be taken account. Life can’t be that harsh right? Coz what’s the use of having all these people on Earth if their good deeds won’t be considered? Hypothetically, if I were non-Muslim and I knew that Muslims believe that a non-Muslim’s deeds will not be accepted, then I would actually be more reluctant to convert, coz it seems too cruel.

More than anything...I want to just sit with someone who is qualified to answer all my questions, someone who is knowledgeable and has all the evidence to back their answers. I want reassurance.

So what did I tell my best friend? I basically told her more or less what I said just now... that I believe that God is fair. As long as she does things with good intentions, then God will consider her. She understood me. Have I told her enough about Islam? I think I have, she thinks Islam is beautiful...but if were to go on, I think I’d be pushing her buttons. It’s never good to be too forceful. When she’s ready to choose, then she’ll choose.

To the non-Muslims reading this, I really hope I did not offend you. It is your decision to believe in whatever you want, freedom of choice. I just want you to know, that Islam is a really misunderstood religion especially with the mass media linking us with terrorism all the time. Give Islam a read; it really is a peaceful religion.

Sincerely,
Mizah K.

p/s
RIP Michael Jackson

Hey everyone!
You may have been wondering how my Penang trip was? It was perfect. Couldn't have been any better. When we were about to land, everybody was staring out the window, and we all received a very good first impression..we had a bird's eye view of the shimmering sea and the gorgeous island. I took like 300+ photos on that trip..not kidding, it's all on my facebook though, so if you have access to it, then do check it out. We had mehendi done..went to to 4 beaches..we even went to the fish spa! I like KL..but Penang is just as nice but in a different way of course. It's peaceful..tranquil..serene....I love a calm environment. I think I'm gonna beg my parents to buy a house there..somewhere for us to escape once in a while. =] Mama? Papa? Pleeeasie Shmeeezies..? Anyway, here's a short vlog I did for you readers..I decided I should try something different..it will be the first of many. (and hopefully people will think I am more tech-savvy =P) Like the new change? It's a step forward..yes?




So what's today's topic? Guys... I don't have any.. I have a lot of ideas..but the inspiration is just not coming. I have to be inspired otherwise my posting will be really dull and a waste. The reason for my lack of inspiration?... Holiday is almost over..I'm going back to Nilai after tomorrow. It's gonna be a tough loooong semester.


I cannot wait to be released from the grasp of Nilai..because once I am.. I will be able to blog [in good manner of course] without having to worry about...'stuff'. I have been dying to say soooo many things... it's best to shut up for now though. Can't wait to give my review of CFS Nilai..and I promise I will try to be as positive as possible. I will also highlight all the awesome lecturers and give reasons to why IIUM should give them MANY MANY BONUSES. [when I like a lecturer or a teacher, I reaaaaaaally like them...] As for the 'others'.. their names will not be mentioned coz of very valid reasons...one of it would be because they don't deserve it.. =P


If you are a lecturer/teacher.. your job is one of the most important in the world. You either make me or break me. It's in your hands... so....be a good teacher.. do it not for the money..or the rank..but for us, your students. For this reason alone...is why teaching is the most fulfilling job. You never know who your student will become when he/she grows up. So to anybody who teaches....your student might just become famous one day. They will either acknowledge you and give you all the credit...or...out of revenge.. embarrass you to the world. =P

"One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child." ~Carl Jung

I guess this posting turned out to be about teachers!..well kinda..just a small preview though.
A new semester comes. Hopefully my last. More unwanted drama coming..I can feel it. It gets worst every semester..my mental list of 'The People I Must Avoid' will probably grow. I'll be strivin' and at the same time, I'm gonna have a lil fun in this semester..
The final judgement of CFS Nilai will soon be made.

MAHALO!!!

Mizah K.

When I was in Doha, many of the wealthy Arabs there would visit Malaysia. Once summer vacation ended, and it was back to school, we'd all exchange stories...where we went..who we met..and so on and so forth.

I would always, alwaaays hear at least one story about a friend's visit to Malaysia..They went to Genting..Langkawi..Pangkor, and since I'm Malaysian, they'd assume I know and have been to all those wonderful places too. Sure, I've heard of 'em and seen photos and ads... but sadly, I haven't ventured there...yet. Ironic isn't it?..I've been to many many places all over this lovely Earth, but I've barely toured around my own country!

I feel very un-Malaysian at times because of my lack of travelling around in my own country. But things are about to change now. =]

So my parents are outta the country..and my siblings 'flew' away as well.. I'm the only one who remains in this country, so I decided that I might as well do a bit of flying myself, even though it's domestically.

I am flying off to Penang tomorrow with Shazna and we shall be meeting up with Nadia upon arrival. I'm excited for many reasons, it's my first domestic flight, no family [i get a sense of independence] , it's with my friends, and most of all...this is my first self-paid trip. I saved up big bucks for this. I'm paying for my own flight tickets, transport, food..everything. And guess what? My friend's mom has like this membership thing at the hotel so accommodation is free!!! Lucky right? At first, we were browsing for reasonably priced hotels and we narrowed it down to one, 'Copthorne Orchid Hotel'..and coincidentally that is the hotel my friend's mom has a membership to.. Definitely NOT a coincidence...this soooo happened for a reason. It's like God wants us to go.. =]

So I'll be off the radar in the next 4 days..starting from tomorrow. If I bother, I'll share my travel stories with you..well I must be off to pack.

'bout time I explore my own country for a change..

Penang...Here I Come!

The newly Independent Domestic Traveller,
-Mizah K.-